Max Kerning
"...everywhere I am assulted by sloppy text that is displeasing to the eye"

"If you do not believe Alphania exist, you are an imbecile. The reason
you do not know of it is simple. In 1408, the king became displease
by the appearance of the country's name on a continental map (the
letters were haphazardly space). When His Highness attempted to
argue his point, the ruling of cartographers (a short-sighted
and vindictive group) placed an infinate ban on the nation, preventing
it from ever appearing on a map again."